Chilled to the Bone -- what does it mean?

Each year it seems that the three weeks of cookie season is colder than the one before. While I know this cannot possibly be true I also know that tonight was certainly one of the worst I have survived. When the evening's sales were at an end and I returned home my feet and hands hurt so badly I cried. I am not one to succumb to pain easily but I couldn't seem to stem those tears. My teeth chattered, my legs shook and my tears flowed down my cheeks. For the first time (ever?) it occured to me that I understood the phrase chilled to the bone. But as I pondered the idea further I realized that nothing about my life is chilled. I am blessed in every possible way. I have a family whom I love and who love me. I have friends whom I trust completely. I have faith and hope which buoy me even in my times of distress. I have medications and oxygen which allow me to follow my path in life despite illness. I have education, thought, and resources with which I learn. I have it all. So, can I really be that cold? I have decided that the only time I am truly chilled to the bone is when I lose my direction in life.

Quiet in Colorado

Words have flowed from my fingers more slowly of late. I have a monster inside my head which stills my thoughts and creeps into my mind changing my view from optimistic to pessimistic and tries my faith. My monster may not be the same as yours but I am sure that you to have a monster. Mine is named BiPolar Disorder. Some people know it by the name ManicDepressive. I find that neither name shares with you the traits of my monster. And, actually, I have hidden from this monster well over the past 7 years. Unfortunately I have been fighting the battle again this past month and while at it I have often forgotten my friends, fought my family and ignored my faith. However I am taking the steps and winning this latest battle with BiPolar disorder. I don't want to share more than anyone wants to read and I know it would be easy to overshare so I will end this post here. But this is my way of stilling the monster and forcing my words to flow again. I hope you will follow.