Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Gave up Brad Pitt for Grandchildren.

Back in the spring and summer of 1996 I was expecting my first child. Lets be honest though the fun part of having children is having grandchildren. Right? While I loved the fact that I was now a mommy, my body did not. I spent much of that time on bedrest. And during the time when I was not on bedrest my activity was still restricted. Greg was working at Blockbuster Video as an assistant manager, and so I spent much of my time sitting behind the counter alphabetizing movies to be restocked once they were returned. It was mindless work but it allowed me to be 'in the world', not secluded in my home by myself. I loved it. One day I walked into the store to see a life-size cardboard cutout of Tristan Ludlow -- the incredibly beautiful (HOT) character played by Brad Pit in the movie Legends of the Fall. Oh geez! I had to have that thing. Immediately! I told the manager that when it was time to take down Brad he was mine. For weeks I reminded him that he could not give that poster to anyone else who asked. And many asked! One night I was home sleeping before Greg got home after closing the store. (The fact that I slept was a miracle in itself, but that is another story.) Greg brought me the gift of Brad Pitt! Now that is love! Unfortunately I was pregnant and fighting pre-term labor. Pregnant women need to make many, many trips to the restroom. And that night was no excepting. Around 4am I made my second nightly trip, and as I entered the hallway I caught a glimpse of a man standing in the doorway of the nursery. It startled me so much that I nearly wet my pajamas. Then I realized it was not a stranger; it was Brad. "OH, its only Brad", I said to myself. Lovely. He was lovely. The next trip to the restroom, I was equally as frightened by a man in the nursery. "OH, its only Brad", I repeated, smiling. However, I never remembered. I never stopped being startled. Brad made me smile during my waking hours, but at night he scared me to death. Who would think that would be possible? I mean really! Brad in my house at night. That should make me smile! Finally I realized it was time to say goodbye to Brad. If I kept Brad... well, I would give up those grandchildren. And that could not happen! So sadly Brad left my home and I havent seen him since. I have looked for him on eBay, but he is not there. I suppose no other woman was forced to make the choice between Brad and her future grandchildren. And, so, Brad is staying in those homes. I may never see Brad again. But Owen has been given his orders. He will give me grandchildren. :)

3 comments:

maggieinthemountains said...

loved this post, Kelly! the pictures aren't bad either!

Duane Scott said...

One of the more unique post I've read today. This is hilarious!

The Fernandez Family said...

THis was seriously hilarious lol