Forensics and New Evidences of Maturity.

Owen is on the brink... a boy of 13. No longer a child. Nowhere near manhood. On the precipice of true adolescence. Each day is a new experience; a new struggle. Sometimes the growing pains prove to be difficult for me. I find that his 'attitude' sometimes causes me great frustration, and often I react in anger. It is that word again. React. I wish that more often I would breathe, think and act rather than react. Thus the growing pains. It is not only my son who struggles with them. It is me. I am being forced to grow as a parent, and sometimes I do it only by being dragged into it while kicking and screaming. But yesterday my son provided me with evidence of maturity. It was a good day without those pesky growing pains. So, what happened? Forensics. The first tournament was yesterday. Owen competed and won the 6th place trophy. But, although I am proud of that win, it is not the evidence of which I speak. The first round was a difficult one for Owen. He forgot parts of his piece and fed the wrong lines to his partner. I watched him with a pit in my stomach. I left feeling sure their chances for the podium were gone, and sure that round 2 would be much the same. In the past Owen has struggled to change course once it was set. When he performed badly once it was certain to continue. If things began poorly, they continued poorly. So I was sure he would follow that path. Here is the wonderful evidence of maturity; of the path he is following as he grows: Owen performed well in the second round. He set aside his disappointment and he performed. This is a difficult feat for adults. So it is lovely to see from my child The road to adulthood. The growing pains will continue. I may even encounter them tomorrow, and if so I hope I will act. I hope I will avoid the folly of reacting. But in this moment I am content to revel in the beauty of yesterday.

Motherhood and the moments which remind me.

A glimpse inside my heart. Last night my first-born child competed with 34 other kids in the school Geography Bee. It was one of those experiences in life when I realize how difficult it can be to hold the title "mom". I sat with Greg and Cora surrounded by families of the other kids, and with each question the tension rose. Not for Owen -- but for me. It is difficult to have no control over what happens next for your child; to worry that he will end up with a broken heart. I remember how devastated I was to lose as a child. I know that disappointment is normal, but sometimes disappointment feels heavier when you are a child. That weighed heavily on me while watching my son last night. I needn't have worried. Owen was composed and smiling, and I could see it in his eyes that he could have answered any of the questions posed to the other kids as well as those that were his to answer. Still, inside my head was a running tally of how many questions he got right as compared to the other children. There is some kind of strange thing that happens in these moments and you find yourself cheering against the kids who aren't your own. It isn't something which I enjoyed. However it was also one of the experiences in life which heighten the love of one's child. Owen enjoyed the process. I could see him thinking about each question. I could see the smile on his face whenever he knew the answer. And I could see that he is not only a bright child, but he also enjoys the surprises which life brings. He is compassionate and despite being happy to rise above the competition he empathized with the other children who were disappointed. In the end Owen came in second. He missed the final question in the championship round and ironically the answer to the question was "Greece". If you know my son you know this answer would seem to be his 'Least Likely to Miss' question. Is he disappointed? Of course. But he is also happy. His reaction is exactly the one I would have hoped for him to have. He is a good kid and I am proud once again to be his mom.