When kids get their feelings hurt

The hardest thing about being a mom (in my opinion) is that sometimes I must see my children get their feelings hurt and there is nothing I can do. I can only give them a little extra attention and try to explain the actions of other children. It is a situation which I never feel I have handled properly. I saw my ineptitude again tonight. Cora has a friend -- someone she considers her best friend. Tonight she learned that her friend is planning a small birthday party and didnt invite Cora. It sounded as though the friend can only invite 2 or 3 girls. But if Cora could invite only one girl this would be the girl. I saw that Cora was hurt by the fact that she wasnt on the list of three girls invited. How do you help a child deal with hurt like that? I think I do everything wrong. This time I explained that her friend probably knew we would be gone for spring break and so she didnt even ask. But, is that helpful? Or did I make things worse than they already were? And what will happen next year when they all move to the middle school? Will these events happen more often? How do you handle similar situations? What would your response to this particular situation be? And how do you keep your children's pain from becoming your own pain?

Mountain Fashion

My favorite attire is a warm pair of flannel pajama bottoms an a tee shirt. Sometimes they do not even match. I wear a skirt to church but otherwise you will find me in denim or my flannel PJs. When I was much younger I loved fashion. I dressed in all the crazy 80s 'inspired by The Go-Gos' clothes and loved to shop for clothes. My lifestyle was different then. I went out to clubs, and dated boys I knew in the military. Rarely was I home on a weekend. Even week nights I was often out with friends or boys. Fashion played a role in that lifestyle. Now I spend my evenings playing board games, reading books, watching TV. Family activities. And my fashion reflects the crazy weather of the mountains rather than the crazy music of my young adulthood. I call it mountain fashion. :)

Music Memories

When I first discovered the world of blogging (admittedly long after most) I read posts by a friend about the memories evoked by the music of her youth. I loved the series and I have often reflected on those memories in my life. Back in the mid-1970s, when I was in Junior High I fell in love with what I term folk music but is really more appropriately named light pop/rock/easy listening. The Carpenters. The Turtles. Olivia Newton John, before disco. Mac Davis. I owned a all-in one stereo with AM/FM radio, a 'record player' and an 8-track tape player. (Yes, I am that old.) I would put a stack of records on the turntable plug in my massive headphones and stretch the cord as far as possible so that I could sit in my closet under my hanging clothes listening to my music for long stretches of time. Why in my closet? Privacy from my annoying little brother. Feeling sheltered from the world. Hiding from my problems. Getting lost in the perfect, romantic world portrayed in the lyrics of Karen. I sang every memorized word and formed a distorted view of love and relationships that lasted well into adulthood. Aside from that I remember the escape offered by the beautiful, high notes of Olivia in "I Honestly Love You" and Karen in "Close to You". I remember loving the fact that my Junior High teacher chose the song "Happy Together" for us to sing in show choir and that I felt every word was for a cute, blond boy named Doug. When Crystal Gayle sang "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue" I cried along with her plaintive words. Mac Davis created a world of expectations for my first pregnancy in the song "Having My Baby". I grew up and learned that life is not a love song, though love does have its own musical soundtrack. I learned that pregnancy is not always filled with only happy moments. I learned that I didn't want to sing about either happiness or heartbreak. I also learned the power of music in my life and each era of my life brought with it a soundtrack (is there a synonym for soundtrack?)which calls forth its own set of memories -- good and bad. I love all those soundtracks and eventually I would love to have a digital play list for each of them on my iPhone. Wouldn't that be fun? What are your favorite soundtracks and what memories do they arouse?

Chilled to the Bone -- what does it mean?

Each year it seems that the three weeks of cookie season is colder than the one before. While I know this cannot possibly be true I also know that tonight was certainly one of the worst I have survived. When the evening's sales were at an end and I returned home my feet and hands hurt so badly I cried. I am not one to succumb to pain easily but I couldn't seem to stem those tears. My teeth chattered, my legs shook and my tears flowed down my cheeks. For the first time (ever?) it occured to me that I understood the phrase chilled to the bone. But as I pondered the idea further I realized that nothing about my life is chilled. I am blessed in every possible way. I have a family whom I love and who love me. I have friends whom I trust completely. I have faith and hope which buoy me even in my times of distress. I have medications and oxygen which allow me to follow my path in life despite illness. I have education, thought, and resources with which I learn. I have it all. So, can I really be that cold? I have decided that the only time I am truly chilled to the bone is when I lose my direction in life.

Quiet in Colorado

Words have flowed from my fingers more slowly of late. I have a monster inside my head which stills my thoughts and creeps into my mind changing my view from optimistic to pessimistic and tries my faith. My monster may not be the same as yours but I am sure that you to have a monster. Mine is named BiPolar Disorder. Some people know it by the name ManicDepressive. I find that neither name shares with you the traits of my monster. And, actually, I have hidden from this monster well over the past 7 years. Unfortunately I have been fighting the battle again this past month and while at it I have often forgotten my friends, fought my family and ignored my faith. However I am taking the steps and winning this latest battle with BiPolar disorder. I don't want to share more than anyone wants to read and I know it would be easy to overshare so I will end this post here. But this is my way of stilling the monster and forcing my words to flow again. I hope you will follow.

What do I love today:

I am making a list of the things I love because I want to remind myself of how much fun life is when I make the most of it. The idea comes from my newest friend, Maggie! :) Greg, who does so much for me and our family Owen and Cora, who are the greatest kids ever reading hiking mountains diet Coke from a fountain studying the Middle Ages, particularly in Britain laughing road trips fun music sleeping in spicy foods the scriptures sunshine and BLUE skies 'snow days' when my family gets an unexpected holiday fireplaces and wood stoves hot springs seeing elk bloglurking the smell of babie' heads OU football ice cream clean sheets on my bed jacuzzi tubs -- wish I had one! candles movies that make my cry The Office -- I found this love because of Maggie my house fresh flowers blueberries that are slightly frozen historical fiction books board games mountains lake Michigan Historical road markers real letters in the mail a brand new journal good pens Wii laughter John Lennon Donny Osmond magazines

Poetry on Thursdays -- Robert Frost

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.