Grateful.

This is a short list of the things for which I am grateful. 1. The health and happiness of my children. 2. The love of my husband, which has been tested in so many ways over the years. 3. My extended family -- both the one to whom I am related by blood and the one to whom I am related by marriage. The latter has accepted me in spite of my crazy ways and have taught me that the word family encompasses far more than I realized. 3. A comfortable home in which I have created my nest. 4. The things for which I am often ungrateful, and treat as an expectation rather than a privilege. (Indoor plumbing, clean and safe drinking water, accesible information, electricity, soft towels and sheets, good tennis shoes, and so much more). 5. My camera, my Kindle and my iPod Shuffle. These items are treasured more than I think they ought to be. I love them. 6. The ability to scrapbook, which is my favorite creative outlet. 7. My mother-in-law who has been equal to my own mother in her ability to make me feel cherished and cared for. 8. Our computer. 9. The three babies I lost, as they taught me more than I can explain. 10. The Gospel. I rarely talk about religion but my faith is important to me and has been a great source of comfort through the last 7 years of health problems. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please share some of the things for which you are most grateful.

Motherhood and the moments which remind me.

A glimpse inside my heart. Last night my first-born child competed with 34 other kids in the school Geography Bee. It was one of those experiences in life when I realize how difficult it can be to hold the title "mom". I sat with Greg and Cora surrounded by families of the other kids, and with each question the tension rose. Not for Owen -- but for me. It is difficult to have no control over what happens next for your child; to worry that he will end up with a broken heart. I remember how devastated I was to lose as a child. I know that disappointment is normal, but sometimes disappointment feels heavier when you are a child. That weighed heavily on me while watching my son last night. I needn't have worried. Owen was composed and smiling, and I could see it in his eyes that he could have answered any of the questions posed to the other kids as well as those that were his to answer. Still, inside my head was a running tally of how many questions he got right as compared to the other children. There is some kind of strange thing that happens in these moments and you find yourself cheering against the kids who aren't your own. It isn't something which I enjoyed. However it was also one of the experiences in life which heighten the love of one's child. Owen enjoyed the process. I could see him thinking about each question. I could see the smile on his face whenever he knew the answer. And I could see that he is not only a bright child, but he also enjoys the surprises which life brings. He is compassionate and despite being happy to rise above the competition he empathized with the other children who were disappointed. In the end Owen came in second. He missed the final question in the championship round and ironically the answer to the question was "Greece". If you know my son you know this answer would seem to be his 'Least Likely to Miss' question. Is he disappointed? Of course. But he is also happy. His reaction is exactly the one I would have hoped for him to have. He is a good kid and I am proud once again to be his mom.

Snowy Sunday Haiku

My friend Denise has inspired me over the past year to revive my love of Haiku. For those of you unfamiliar with this style of verse, it is a Japanese form of poetry characterized this way: It has three lines. The first has 5 syllables, the second has 7 syllables and the third has five syllables. Traditionally Haiku was written about nature. I have followed that path today. This snowy Sunday, clouds hang low hiding the peak. Peaceful, quiet day.

Love of Books Re-KINDLEd.

I have a love affair with books. I don't just read them; I devour them. You will rarely find me without a book. There are many times when I know it is not likely I will have an opportunity to indulge in the pages of whichever book I am reading at that moment. It doesnt matter, because the idea of not having a book with me when one of those moments surfaces is hideous to me. So, everywhere you find me you are sure to find a book. But as I have grown older my eyes (which have always been bad) also grew older. Last year I found that I needed trifocals. Unfortunately I have not adjusted well to that change. And as a result of being unable to see, my passion for books faced crisis. Yes, you can buy recorded books, but have you checked out the price? Have you seen how small that section of the library is? No, it wasn't a viable option. And so I continued to read... at a much slowere pace than ever before. Then came Kindle! Mine is named Trixie and she has reKindled my affair with the written word. I love my Kindle. Why? I will give you my list. Yes, this is sort of a commercial - sorry for that. But of all the things I own, the Kindle is my favorite, so I have to share it with you.

1. I can carry many books at once. Last summer we went to Rocky Mountain National Park. Due to my foot and ankle issues I knew I would be unable to hike as much as my family. So I packed my Kindle. The first day we chose a trail knowing I would hike in about 1/2 mile, and that Greg and the kids would hike another mile before turning back. I gave Greg my Kindle and he tucked it into his backpack. We arrived at my desitnation and I made myself a comfortable place to sit. Greg dug out from his backpack more than 40 books -- all in a package that weighed less than a poiund! I will say though, that I didnt read very much. I was too busy sharing my Kindle with passersby.
2. I am reading books from genres new to me. Many authors sell their books for very low prices to gain new readers in the e-book world. Who wouldnt download a book for a penny?
3. I can read the classics for free! You can find hundreds of books for free... the classics and much more.
4. No more hand cramps. I tend to read often in bed or on the couch and my hands soon cramp from the weight of the book. The Kindle is incredibly lightweight and in the past 7 months I have not had a single hand cramp.
5. No more lost pages. The Kindle remembers where I left off last.
6. Oxford dictionary and Wikipedia. When I need to look up a word I simply place my curser in front of it and the Kindle automatically opens the dictionary to that word and provides me the definition! If I want more, I can go to Wikipedia in a flash.
7. Immediate download of books.
8. I can listen! If I am washing dishes and in a good place in my book, I just turn on the Text to Speech option, and Trixie reads to me!
9. No eyes strain. I can change the font size to a larger size that is friendly to my old eyes, and the e-ink technology is fantastic. My eyes are never sore, even after hours with the book.

Yep, I am blessed to have back my obsession, my adoration, my immense loveaffair ... with books!

ReKINDLEd!

Possesions Past (and Future?)

I am not entirely sure why, but recently I seem to be finding many memories of childhood hiding behind every door.

As I begin shopping this holiday season I am recalling the moments in my childhood when I was surprised and elated by Christmas gifts that I had secretly yearned for. I was unusual in that I never told anyone what I wanted despite my mom’s efforts to cajole a list out of me. I believed it would be greedy to ask for things I wanted. The irony in that is my most desired items were quite inexpensive.

Many children crawl beneath their trees carefully unwrapping and re-wrapping the gifts on which they located their names. Some did not go quite so far, but they did seek to know if they had the largest gift, or if their beautifully wrapped packages rattled. My brother was among that group. I cannot say I did not sneak under any trees. I certainly did. But I did not look for large gifts or gifts that rattled. No, I felt the edges of each gift hoping to find… spines! Yes. I hoped that I would receive books. I still adore books though I read more of them on my beloved Kindle now than I do on the variety that I sought all those years ago.

For several years I followed a particular girl detective. Her name was not Nancy. The girl I followed had blond curly hair, freckles, three brothers, and several friends. Her name was Trixie Belden. She lived in New York on a lovely little farm known as Happy Valley Farm. I adored Trixie and read her books so often that I could still tell you the stories. Unfortunately those beloved books found their way into the trash after I entered the Air Force. If you see any of her books in the little antique shops or used book stores… look for the 70s version (not the icky paperbacks from the 80s). If they are in good condition I would reimburse you in a heartbeat. For those who are knowledgeable, these are the “Uglies” editions. They may have been ugly or cheaply made compared to earlier editions. But they were mine and I loved them.

Oh, there were other gifts I adored. Of course anything that involved Donny was a big hit, as you must have figured out if you read an earlier post.

But I also loved the Spirograph, the loom on which I made multitudes of ugly potholders and my first Brownie camera. I do still have that last item. When I decided the Spirograph would be something my kids loved I began the search. I was sad to learn that they no longer exist. Well, actually they do exist but they are a horrible imitation of the original. So, now I am on the hunt for the original Spirograph too. What were your favorite toys and possessions of childhood?

Cooking and Creativity

I have never been our family cook. That is Greg's domain. He is a fabulous cook who learned from the best cook I have ever known - his mom. However at times it does make me feel like I am a slouch, when he has to come home from work and then make dinner. And, I have noticed a certain quality in the (mostly) women I know who arre in charge of their family meals. They are both organized and creative. They use the best of both the left and right hemispheres of their brains. Today I decided to give it a try and I hope I can continue to expand my knowledge of the art and science of cooking. I hope that all my friends and family will share their knowledge with me. But tonight I will share my first success! We had two heads of cabbage in our refrigerator which we needed to eat. So, I made a salad which I found on the internet with one head. Then I took the other and lightly steamed large leaves of cabbage. I then cooked turkey sausage with carrots, and rice. Finally I made an easy Asian sauce which my CSA farmer taught me how to make, and spread it on the cabbage before rolling it up. Everyone in my family loved them, it was very healthy and I felt great. It was a win. Now, would you help me earn my next one please?

Yes, I Can -- Air Force memories

I grew up with a love of aircraft. My dad had served in the Air Force before I was born as a crew chief, first on B-57s and then on the U2. His job was fascinating to me and I loved to hear is wonderful stories about his time on Eniwetok during Atomic Bomb testing and the crazy things that happened with the U2 before it even had markings. (Think SR-71 Blackbird in the '60s and '70s.) I don't remember when it started, I only recall that I always loved flight. Every year I filled out the survey in my School Years book and one of the questions asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Of course it was multiple choice and had different answers for boys and girls. The boys were given the following choices: President, Fireman, Police Officer, Pilot and Doctor. While girls had these choices: Nuse, Teacher and Stewardess. For those of you younger than I a stewardess is a flight attendant. I always checked this box. However, this the first important question to which I was told, I couldn't do it because I was "too...", In this case I was too female. Later - in junior high - CB radios were widely popular. My family owned a home radio as well as car units. We joined CB clubs and you could often find me running radio control. I absolutely loved that radio and nearly every night you could find me on it for part of the evening. It was the first thing I ever loved nearly as much as I loved flight. With my passions in mind it should not surprise you to know that I was thrilled when I was sworn into the Air Force with the job of radio communications. Off to boot camp I went, on November 16, 1981. (This is another story but is also another example of "you can't do that".) That was followed by Tech School where I trained for my job. Another 8 weeks later and I was accepted into school to be an Airborne Communications Systems Operator. To get there I had to achieve a 98 percent grade in the first tech school and have an instructor recommend. But the moment I knew that job was available I set my mind to it. What could be better than a job which combined my two childhood passions?

Training was wonderful except for one thing, most aircraft were not open to women... especially those that were most interesting. The Strategic Air Command had many planes open to women -- at certain bases. But the Tactical Air Command had the more sexy aircraft. They had planes which would allow me to travel the world. Planes which were sleek; which were what I now would term 'hot'. I wanted to fly in the Tactical Air Command. If there were ever a time when I felt defeated byt the "you can't do that" mentality of the world, that was the time. You cannot change your gender.

Soon our class received our orders. Most of the men received orders to go to Tinker AFB in Oklahoma. They would fly on the E-3, AWACS. They would travel the world and spend their lives living out of a flight bag and eating exotic foods. I received orders to Offut AFB to fly on a C-130. The adage among fly-boys was Awful Offut, and "fly around the flagpole'. Where would I travel? Certainly not to Saudi Arabia or Iceland. No, I would fly missions from my home base with far fewer days TDY. I was extremely jealous.

I began a campaign -- I call it Beg the Higher-Ups to Change Policy. I wrote letters to the President and Congress. I talked to flight instructors, recruiters and everyone else who was in the know. Would that accomplish anything? Of course not. I was female. A girl. A 19 year old girl! But I was determined and so, if nothing else, every person who knew me (or even met me more than once) would know that I wanted to fly in the Tactical Air Command. Specifically, I wanted to fly AWACS.

Then a minor miracle happened. TAC opened its doors to women on certain aircraft. And AWACS was one of them. I received new orders the same day! Maybe the person making assignments did not want to hear me beg again. I will never know and I don't care. I had the orders I wanted. I was no longer "too female", and I was thrilled.

I would arrive in Oklahoma in June 1982 as the first female assigned to an air crew on AWACS. There are many more stories to go with that assignment, and many of them do revolve around me being "too female" but that was a handicap which I overcame, and those stories will be told another time.

What was my answer to flight?

"Yes, I Can!